I don’t what to do, I am trapped.
Stuck in an unhappy life, I’m tapped.
My nerves are shot. I’ve been pushed too far.
Most days, I think of smashing my car.
Wrap it around a telephone pole.
Say goodbye to this life and shit hole.
I don’t want to do this anymore.
I just want to walk out the front door.
I want to be happy, live my life.
Leave behind all the worry and strife.
Runaway and be free from it all.
Free from fighting then watching us fall.
Free from the burden of past mistakes.
Free from the pain, suffering, and aches.
Why has my life become a nightmare?
I need to leave. I’ll go anywhere.
I can stay strong and keep on fighting,
but alas, death seems more inviting.
Please, I want freedom! I want to live!
I’ve tried my best, I’ve no more to give.
Life isn’t fair everyone suffers,
but why at the expense of others?
I want to choose freedom for myself.
Sit in an urn way up on the shelf.
Does my voice really seem to matter?
I’m not heard above all the chatter.
I hope that I will be free one day,
because I truly am not okay.
A cry for help – can anyone hear?!
“No,” replies the stupid puppeteer.
Controlled by everyone around me.
I am just another worker bee.
Day in, day out, I pray for freedom .
Everything happens for a reason.
So today I’ll take back what is mine.
Today is where I must draw the line.
No more flashbacks, no reliving it.
I won’t do it anymore. I quit!
This hold on me is over for good.
Time to move on – is that understood?
I won’t listen to it anymore.
This chapters over, I’m out the door.
I want to be free from memories,
the in my head documentaries.
I want to be free from being here.
Death does not scare me. I have no fear.
I attempted to be really strong.
I attempted to be proven wrong.
Everyone’s time spent here on this Earth,
– wasted, destined to end in a hearse.
Depression is a serious thing.
It can hit you with a vicious sting.
Many people don’t understand why –
you’ve no will to live and want to die.
“Get over it. What could be so bad?
You have everything! Stop being sad!”
I’ve heard people say that many times.
Others just ignore all of the signs.
I’m barely holding it together.
She’s fine most people would conjecture.
I fake it well, hide all of my pain.
Talk about it and labelled insane.
I know I’m not the only person,
who wants to simply close the curtain.
Who holds it in, is about to burst,
has no hope, believes their life is cursed.
Whoever and wherever you are,
only you can write your own memoir.
Suicide writes an autobiography.
How you lived life – psychologically.
Is that how I should be remembered?
Lost my mind, insane, and ill-tempered?
If that’s what they think then so be it.
At least, they’ll act like they give a shit.
I needed someone to just listen.
Help me escape from my minds prison.
I can’t stand one more goddamn minute.
I’m forging my own one way ticket.
Wish someone would save me from this hell.
Too late –
it’s time to say my farewell.
By KD
