I’m here living this life that I’ve been given.
I stayed behind. I stay focused and driven.
I never think about how life is a gift.
I just want to get through it and make it swift.
A second year has already come and gone.
I am alone again to face a new dawn.
I do not think life without him is worth it.
It seems over for me but I never quit.
Life without him is empty, bitter, and cold.
With him, I had always thought I would grow old.
Alone, I have to finish all that we started.
Despite life feeling empty and cold hearted.
I am doing all of the things we wanted,
even though, my dreams have all become haunted.
When I look around inside of my own soul,
there’s nothing in there but a big empty hole.
This emptiness inside cannot be described.
But deeper within his memories inscribed.
Those memories won’t allow me to be free.
I just want him back, to be right beside me.
I relive it all every single day.
It’s honestly just never going away.
I remember the sadness in his brown eyes.
I remember the madness in my loud cries.
If I could have even just one more minute –
I would push it all the way to the limit.
I would ask him, “What is my life’s whole purpose?
To keep it all together on the surface?”
The fear and confusion are mine I must bear.
The sadness – I have so much that I could share…
Moving forward and getting past everything…
…Ha! Ya right, that’s just a joke – if anything.
Living without him is now my new normal.
There’s a lot for which I am so remorseful.
I wish I would have shown him more gratitude,
let things go, not been angry or had attitude.
Still each day the sunrises and the sunsets,
I walk tall, I smile, and shake off the regrets.
I know nothing is going to bring him back,
so I keep him in my heart and stay on track.
The love we shared was absolutely endless.
He lived each of his days with so much zealous.
The memories will live on. They will not fade.
Our time together I would never trade.
I’ll live my life and finish what we started.
For us, for love, for my dearly departed.
I’m here living this life that I’ve been given.
I stayed behind. I focus. I’m grief driven.
By KD
